It is often said it is better to travel than arrive, and I must say that not having tickets for Scotland's European Championship games in Germany, I was happy to land in Bern and not Berlin.
The fact that Scotland were due to play Switzerland in the tournament was not a happy coincidence. I used to live in the Swiss capital, and I timed my annual pilgrimage so I could take in the big game – on TV.
Had I had tickets, I would not have moved to the country where the competition was being played. Rather I would have mounted raids to Cologne and Stuttgart and returned to my second home before the dust settled. Events forced my hand, and I am glad they did.
Scotland played the opening game of the tournament against the hosts, and it might be an understatement to conclude that just as I didn't turn up, neither did the Scottish players.
Some may say Scotland played the occasion rather than the game. If I'm being honest, I don't think they played either.
The next tie was the crunch match between Scotland and Switzerland and I duly donned my old Scotland top and walked from my hotel to the pub where my Swiss pals and I were due to watch events. I took a selfie en route and sent it to a pal back in the 'burgh, a veteran of the tedious Celtic/Rangers Irish history imbroglio.
"Watch you don't get chibbed by Swiss fans," he cautioned. I smiled. Bern is not the kind of place which is home to football hooligans, far less Bloods or Crips, and if I encountered any Swiss fans, and I did, they were more likely to give me a 'Hopp!' and a round of applause. And then came the game, which as ever, spoiled everything.
Switzerland were up and coming in the tournament and we were already jaded by the 5-1 reaming from Germany. We started brightly enough but eventually capitulated to the Swiss, better known for neutrality than us.
But it was OK. Far from licking their wounds as team and tournament imploded around them, the Scots fans gave a good account of themselves.
And after decades of following the national team myself, two World Cups and one European Championship, I have had more than enough of this vapid 'no Scotland, no party,' trope.
We have long since departed the stage and the fans of those teams still on it seem to be partying quite happily, thank you.
We need to change our vibe. We need to be a country like, say, Switzerland, with loyal fans who follow a team which can put others to the sword, advance in tournaments and be known for this instead of alcohol consumption and being handy with face paint.
Show me fans who are good losers and I will show you fans of losers.
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