I have no insight into the cooncil’s planning department mores, except to observe that it often works in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform.

However I have noted that for at least the second time, it has given a dizzie to a company wishing to set up a car washing facility in Helensburgh.

This is of more than passing interest to those of us who travel to the Burgh in a motor, as the car washing facility attached to a garage and mini market in the town seems to have perfected the art of being semi permanently out of order.

Of course, it could be just feeling its age – a sentiment with which I sympathise – but even those of us who are chronologically gifted manage to function more days than not.

Alternatively it could require the kind of makeover of which many of us can only dream: one which would ensure that it doesn’t break down at the drop of a spanner.

The obvious answer to all of this is to extract the power washer from under its cobwebbed home in the shed, liberate the mini battery-operated car vac, and make the bloody thing presentable myself. As all my neighbours, irritatingly, seem to do.

On balance, however, I’d really rather pass over some coins of the realm and let some machinery do the heavy lifting for me.

Perhaps nobody in the planning department runs around in a dirty motor.