A YOUNG woman from Helensburgh has bravely opened up about her struggles with her mental health in the hope that she might be able to help others in a similar situation.
Former Hermitage Academy pupil Chanise Murdoch has written about her 10-year battle with mental illness, including an attempt on her own life, in an online blog which is beginning to attract readers from far beyond the area.
Chanise, 21, who moved to Helensburgh at the age of 10 and now lives in Garelochhead, spoke to the Advertiser about her experiences – and her hopes that her words might support other young people who are experiencing difficulties with their mental health.
“I think now, because I’m older, I have the understanding about what was going on that I didn’t at first,” she said.
“I just remember that feeling as a teenager of having nobody to turn to.
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“Hearing it from people who’ve been through it helps. It works for them, it could work for me, and I can at least say I’ve tried it.
“When you start opening up about things, other people will come out of the woodwork and relate to you. They say they’re ashamed or scared.
"But people can’t help being mentally ill. You don’t ask to have a broken leg, and you don’t ask to have mental health struggles. One person talking about it takes away the stigma.
“A lot of people say ‘you don’t look like a mentally ill person’. But nobody does.
"Anyone you meet could be struggling with their mental health, and you don’t know about it.”
Chanise, who works as a retail assistant with Babcock at the Clyde naval base, said she first became aware she was struggling with her mental health at the age of 11.
“I can’t remember if it’s something that had always been with me, or if it’s something that developed over time.
“I can now see there are things that happened before that age which could have led to things being the way they were, but my mum has said she didn’t see any specific changes at that age that would have made her think anything was wrong.”
Chanise went through four years of therapy during her school years, being seen by numerous counsellors, and being prescribed anti-depressants, before leaving school and studying TV production at college.
“The therapy went on for about four years,” she continued, “but within those four years I was seen by about five different counsellors. With every change in counsellor I felt like I was going back and starting from the beginning.
“Not long after I started in therapy I was put on anti-depressants, but I got worse and worse and I couldn’t see things getting any better.
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“I remember thinking that if this is how I’m feeling on tablets that are meant to make me feel better, how am I going to continue living?
“At 12 or 13, I was self-harming every day. I didn’t want to get out of bed; I didn’t want to be here.
“Now I’m working full time, I have a partner, and I’m living in my own house. I’m fully functioning as a human. It’s a massive difference. I’m living again.”
Chanise started her blog after listening to others who had struggled with mental illness, and after restarting therapy – this time in the form of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – following her college studies.
“When I was a child and was in therapy I was just told ‘you can’t self harm, it’s bad, it’s not allowed’,” she said.
“I didn’t want to self-harm. But with CBT you’re told ‘here’s some safe ways to cope, and here are some alternatives’.
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“It’s about recognising the people that do, and showing them they can be supported in different ways.
Chanise’s blog was initially read only by close family and friends, but through shares on social media it’s slowly beginning to reach a wider audience.
“They would ask me for permission to share it,” she said. “I told them that that’s the whole point.
“If one person who needs help sees my blog and it helps them, that’s all I hope to achieve.”
You can find Chanise’s blog at selfhelptogether.home.blog, while she has also set up a Facebook page at ‘FEAR Helensburgh’ (standing for Face Everything And Rise).
Chanise can also be contacted by email at fearhelensburgh@gmail.com.
Help and emotional support is also available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by calling Samaritans on 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org.
READ MORE: Catch up with all the latest news headlines from across Helensburgh and Lomond here
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